I'm too sexy for BA, too sexy for BA

Apparently this white girl is quite popular with the Argentine male population. I have slowly adjusted to the occasional whistles and cat-calls on the street, but sometimes it is downright confusing, as they seem to make advances when I look my worst or at the most unexpected of times…

1. Disheveled grocery shopper = dead sexy.

The setup… on the way home from class one afternoon we stopped at the Coto to pick up some groceries. I hadn’t gotten much sleep the night before and threw myself together before class (hair up, no shower, no make-up). I was wearing jeans, a white v-neck t-shirt (yes, the kind you buy by the pack at Wal-Mart) and tennis shoes.

The Coto has two levels of amazingness. Shoppers move between the levels on giant conveyer belts. I was on the downward conveyer when I felt eyes on me. A man on the upward conveyer was gawking at me with that propositioning “lets get it on” type of stare. I tried to ignore it but I felt his eyes follow me all the way to the bottom. As I stepped off the belt I glanced back and saw him standing on the second floor, still staring. Without taking his eyes off of me he began to move toward the downward belt and I decided that it was time to leave, and quickly. Creepy.

2. Go to the grocery store sweaty and you might get some digits.

Later (that same day) I realized I needed a few more things to make dinner and headed to our local Disco grocery store. I had just finished a run and was still sweaty, in my running shorts and a long sleeve thermal. I was picking out a wine to have with dinner when a man came up behind me, tapped me on the shoulder and said, “you are very strong” (in English). Pretty sure that “you are strong” was simply a really bad translation from whatever it was he was trying to say, I decided to be nice (for once, while being propositioned by a male) and said “thank you.” I then promptly made my way to the produce section. Three aisles later the same man appeared yet again and said, “you are the most beautiful woman I have seen in a while.” Slightly more uncomfortable, I smiled, said thank you again and made a b-line for the cashier. As I was checking out he materialized one final time to hand me his card. Needless to say, I have not called.

3. Sometimes, there is not strength in numbers.

A couple of weeks ago we were lucky enough to have some friends stay with us here in Buenos Aires. They had been traveling through South America for several months and were desperately craving a good Mexican meal which is very hard to come by in Argentina. After a several disastrous meals at so called “Mexican restaurants,” I decided to try my hand and making chicken tacos and guacamole at home. The meal was both spicy and delicious – not quite authentic, but it certainly hit the spot! Afterwards, we decided that the only thing that could improve upon the meal was ice cream. As the four of us made our way to the local heladeria, we heard a series of whistles from the trash/street cleaning crews. We smiled and snickered a bit and then continued on our way. Moments later, while waiting to cross the street, we then encountered a man who was ranting and raving about something on his cell phone. While still talking a mile a minute, he looked us up and down and then proceeded to put his hand down his pants and fondled himself until the light changed. Charming.

From the quotebook: “And say you might, jizz in your pants and I PUKE IN MY MOUTH.”

4. Straight female? Want vacation sex? Go to the gay bar.

While our guests were still in town we decided to go out to one of the local gay clubs, Amerika. This was the second time I had been to the club – the first was during fabulous Buenos Aires Pride. The club is quite amazing; multiple levels with huge dance floors and a “back room” (or so I am told). During Pride we paid a $55 peso cover (just under $15 US) and were pleased to find an open bar all night long. The second time around the cover was slightly cheaper but the drinks were not free – a huge letdown. Still, the club was bustling, mostly with a diverse crowd of men. The music was techno, and although it not my favorite, we made our way to the dance floor anyway to dance off several glasses of wine and beer from dinner. As we danced, several men approached us at various times during the night, clearly looking to do more than just dance. When uncomfortable, one of our friends would latch onto me shouting “Es mi novia! Es mi novia!” in order to fend them off.

5. Converse are WAY sexier than bikinis

Last weekend was fairly uneventful for me and on Saturday I decided to head up to my favorite flower statue to do some reading to pass the time. As I made my way past a small park, I noticed dozens of sunbathers taking in the warm day. Suddenly, I heard whistles and cat-calls. As I looked around I discovered that they were intended for me, coming from a nearby construction crew. I was thoroughly confused as to why the men would be even remotely interested in a girl walking by in jeans, t-shirt and converse when there was a park full of half-naked women. I suppose I need to re-evaluate exactly what it means to be sexy.