I have been "out" to most for nearly a decade, but as I find myself in a new city surrounded by people who don't know my story I find myself retracting back "in". Being single makes it really easy to avoid divulging my sexuality and I have never really been one to introduce myself as "Hi, I am Jessica and I am a lesbian." For a number of reasons, I have done an altogether terrible job of being "out" in my new circles. Up until now I haven't really thought much about it because I have always wanted people to know me as a person, not just "the lesbian," but with Proposition 8 on the ballot in less than a month, I have done some careful reflection over the last couple days and have realized the importance of being out in order to communicate the message of "No on 8" in a meaningful way. I have decided that National Coming Out Day is an appropriate day to share the following post.
I have been posting "No on 8" on my status on gchat, myspace and facebook for the last several weks and yesterday I got a note from an old friend reporting "I now know what 8 is and I will be voting no." At first I was happy to hear the news but then I thought to myself that it was scary that this friend didn't know what Proposition 8 was until yesterday whereas I have been thinking about it for the last several months. I realized that what may be most critically important at this stage is to communicate the message of what Proposition 8 actually is:
So what is it? It is quite simple actually, Proposition 8 Eliminates the right of same-sex couples to marry. In May of this year the California Supreme court ruled that the statutes that limit marriage to a relationship between a man and a women violated the equal protection clause in the California Constitution and same-sex couples have been able to marry in California since June 17th.
Also of importance, is what Proposition 8 is not. Proponents of Proposition 8 have come up with some interesting things that they think gay marriage rights will do to other institutions in California. The reality however is that allowing your gay friends, neighbors and co-workers to marry will have little impact on anyone other than gay people, their friends and family. The one exception may be that gay marriage will actually inject much needed financial capital into the struggling California economy (there have already been over 11,000 marriages since the Supreme Court ruling legalized marriage on June 17th of this year). Seriously though, despite what you may hear, gay marriage will not:
- Provide a slippery slope to the legality of polygamist marriages or marriages between you and your favorite goat
- Make a provision that the California education system will have to teach students about same-sex marriages
- Eliminate the "tax exempt" status from churches who refuse to marry same-sex couples
Now that that is cleared up, the next most important thing is to communicate why it is important to vote no on 8. Proposition 8 is a human rights issue, plain and simple, and I think the best way to demonstrate the importance of a "no" vote is to humanize the issue and how it will effect me. This proposition is an attack on my rights as a citizen of the State of California. It will actually take away my right to marry - this is an important distinction to Proposition 22 which passed in the year 2000. Although I am single and have no intention of getting married in the near future this issue is important to me as it seeks to place my past and future relationships in a category which makes them less important and meaningful than a straight relationship. The seven year relationship I shared with my ex Ali was every bit as meaningful as a seven year relationship between a man and a woman and deserved equal treatment, dignity and respect under the law. I trust that my friends, family and other people that might stumble on this post will realize the importance of their "No" vote on this proposition and what it means to me personally. In closing, I have three simple requests:
Please register to vote if you have not already
Please vote, and
Please vote "No" on Proposition 8
