It has been exactly two weeks now since I was informed of my waitlisted status at Haas and I have to say it is probably one of the most frustrating experiences of my life. The frustration started with the email informing me that I had been placed on the waitlist; my emotions were like a roller coaster throughout the day as I was not sure if I should be smiling or crying. At first I felt a bit relieved that I had not been dinged but later disappointment set in as I realized that planning for my future was an impossibility as long as the admissions committee waivers in indecision over my status. The letter indicated that I could be removed from the waitlist with a final decision anytime between now and August. I know with some certainty that I cannot wait until the month of August to plan out the next two years of my life. I will wait it out as long as possible, but at some point I will need to mentally and emotionally prepare myself for my future (and I highly doubt that UCLA or USC will allow me to defer my acceptance of admission for too long past April).
Now that two weeks have past I feel myself slipping further and further into the waitlist blues as more and more things in my life have been put on hold. I am in a position that is new and distant for me; a place where I know there is a decision to be made yet I do not have any power to make that decision yet. My frustration and anxiety is growing by the moment and I wonder what kind of emotional mess I might be in by the time Haas delivers their final decision. All I can do is wait; wait to decide where I will live, wait to decide which classes and extracurricular activities I want to be a part of and wait to know which friends I might be spending more time with next Fall. A part of me wishes that Haas would have delivered an actual decision on January 29th, even if it was a “no”; right now anything seems better than this crazy state of “maybe.” Still though, Haas is my first choice and I for now I am happy to still have something to hope for. My heart feels like I belong at Haas and I still have a few ounces of confidence within me that thinks that Haas will realize this too. I have my fingers firmly crossed that this will happen sooner rather than later; else I might be sent to the loony bin before school even starts.
2 comments:
don't you mean, sent BACK to the looney bin?
"and she'll have fun, fun, fun, till her daddy takes the taco wagon away"
i fucking love you lady!
Jess,
I think it will all work out for the best. I also had a thought. While living in California, I learned that many graduates of USC were much better off in terms of their future after graduation. Not only did they leave with a degree but a huge network of friends/ resources that helped open up more opportunities in the workforce. Apparently they all band together to help each other out as if they were family.
It's just a thought. I know it seems as if the Haas shoe will fit much better.
No need to worry, you are an amazing individual. Whichever school gets the pleasure of handing you a degree will be proud...I have my fingers crossed for you too;)
~you're AIFL lifelong buddy
Angie
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