I'm too sexy for BA, too sexy for BA

Apparently this white girl is quite popular with the Argentine male population. I have slowly adjusted to the occasional whistles and cat-calls on the street, but sometimes it is downright confusing, as they seem to make advances when I look my worst or at the most unexpected of times…

1. Disheveled grocery shopper = dead sexy.

The setup… on the way home from class one afternoon we stopped at the Coto to pick up some groceries. I hadn’t gotten much sleep the night before and threw myself together before class (hair up, no shower, no make-up). I was wearing jeans, a white v-neck t-shirt (yes, the kind you buy by the pack at Wal-Mart) and tennis shoes.

The Coto has two levels of amazingness. Shoppers move between the levels on giant conveyer belts. I was on the downward conveyer when I felt eyes on me. A man on the upward conveyer was gawking at me with that propositioning “lets get it on” type of stare. I tried to ignore it but I felt his eyes follow me all the way to the bottom. As I stepped off the belt I glanced back and saw him standing on the second floor, still staring. Without taking his eyes off of me he began to move toward the downward belt and I decided that it was time to leave, and quickly. Creepy.

2. Go to the grocery store sweaty and you might get some digits.

Later (that same day) I realized I needed a few more things to make dinner and headed to our local Disco grocery store. I had just finished a run and was still sweaty, in my running shorts and a long sleeve thermal. I was picking out a wine to have with dinner when a man came up behind me, tapped me on the shoulder and said, “you are very strong” (in English). Pretty sure that “you are strong” was simply a really bad translation from whatever it was he was trying to say, I decided to be nice (for once, while being propositioned by a male) and said “thank you.” I then promptly made my way to the produce section. Three aisles later the same man appeared yet again and said, “you are the most beautiful woman I have seen in a while.” Slightly more uncomfortable, I smiled, said thank you again and made a b-line for the cashier. As I was checking out he materialized one final time to hand me his card. Needless to say, I have not called.

3. Sometimes, there is not strength in numbers.

A couple of weeks ago we were lucky enough to have some friends stay with us here in Buenos Aires. They had been traveling through South America for several months and were desperately craving a good Mexican meal which is very hard to come by in Argentina. After a several disastrous meals at so called “Mexican restaurants,” I decided to try my hand and making chicken tacos and guacamole at home. The meal was both spicy and delicious – not quite authentic, but it certainly hit the spot! Afterwards, we decided that the only thing that could improve upon the meal was ice cream. As the four of us made our way to the local heladeria, we heard a series of whistles from the trash/street cleaning crews. We smiled and snickered a bit and then continued on our way. Moments later, while waiting to cross the street, we then encountered a man who was ranting and raving about something on his cell phone. While still talking a mile a minute, he looked us up and down and then proceeded to put his hand down his pants and fondled himself until the light changed. Charming.

From the quotebook: “And say you might, jizz in your pants and I PUKE IN MY MOUTH.”

4. Straight female? Want vacation sex? Go to the gay bar.

While our guests were still in town we decided to go out to one of the local gay clubs, Amerika. This was the second time I had been to the club – the first was during fabulous Buenos Aires Pride. The club is quite amazing; multiple levels with huge dance floors and a “back room” (or so I am told). During Pride we paid a $55 peso cover (just under $15 US) and were pleased to find an open bar all night long. The second time around the cover was slightly cheaper but the drinks were not free – a huge letdown. Still, the club was bustling, mostly with a diverse crowd of men. The music was techno, and although it not my favorite, we made our way to the dance floor anyway to dance off several glasses of wine and beer from dinner. As we danced, several men approached us at various times during the night, clearly looking to do more than just dance. When uncomfortable, one of our friends would latch onto me shouting “Es mi novia! Es mi novia!” in order to fend them off.

5. Converse are WAY sexier than bikinis

Last weekend was fairly uneventful for me and on Saturday I decided to head up to my favorite flower statue to do some reading to pass the time. As I made my way past a small park, I noticed dozens of sunbathers taking in the warm day. Suddenly, I heard whistles and cat-calls. As I looked around I discovered that they were intended for me, coming from a nearby construction crew. I was thoroughly confused as to why the men would be even remotely interested in a girl walking by in jeans, t-shirt and converse when there was a park full of half-naked women. I suppose I need to re-evaluate exactly what it means to be sexy.

The Sidewalks of Buenos Aires

I feel as though I should preface this particular blog with a disclaimer. I recently had my wallet and phone pick pocketed while on public transit. This event has left me quite bitter with Buenos Aires. I am confident that this state of mind will leave soon and I will return to my former state of city admiration but for now you can enjoy reading about many of the things that drive me slightly bonkers on a daily basis.

1. Argentineans are always in a rush, yet never in a hurry.

For the last month and a half, I have been pushed and shoved onto and out of trains, buses and airplanes. People regularly cut in front of me in line without a second thought. It is a small wonder that I have not fallen on escalators as people knock me to the side as they clamor up to the top. You would think that this aggressive behavior might be indicative of people in a constant hurry, but, strangely, it is the exact opposite. I am regularly pushed out of the way as people rush to exit the train but then get stuck behind them on the street as they walk at a pace slower than 2mph. It is confusing, frustrating and downright annoying. Most times I feel as though I could sit faster then they walk.

2. Walk and ride at your own risk

Although life here generally moves in slow motion, when driving cars, people are suddenly in quite the hurry. Aggressive drivers make for a horrifying pedestrian and passenger experience. Pedestrians never have the right of way and when crossing the street you just have to cross your fingers and hope for the best. If there is a car nearby they literally speed up when you attempt to cross the street in front of them. I have never seen anything like it! The city seems to have decent traffic planning but when nobody obeys traffic laws (if there are any) it creates a royally dangerous cluster fuck. There are several nice parks to run in here in the city but all of them are at least a mile from my house. Running to the parks is a little bit like playing real life frogger. I have nicknamed one road “Calle de Muerte” or the road of death because I have had near death experiences on a few occasions now.

While riding the bus home from school earlier this week I was attempting to catch up on some reading when suddenly a little red car decided to try to cut off about four lanes of traffic on the highway. The car lost control and went spinning in front of our bus and crashed into the median. Just another day on the Expreso Pilar.

3. If something stinks, check your shoes

Crazy drivers are not the only hazard for pedestrians. You must also be constantly on the lookout for dog shit. Although there are some neighborhoods where people are conscientious and pick up after their dogs, most neighborhoods (including my own) are not so fortunate. As far as I know I have not stepped in any yet but I feel like it may just be a matter of time.

I have been very surprised by how many dogs there are in the city. It seems like everyone has a dog despite the fact that most everyone lives in tiny apartments. Among my favorite city sites are the dog walkers who walk 5-10 dogs at a time. I think they spend more time cleaning up poop than they actually do walking. One morning on the way to Spanish class we saw a very distressed dog walker, surrounded by five dogs. As we walked by we saw the reason for his stress as he struggled to scrape poop of the side of one of the dogs. We deducted that he had dropped the poop on the dog while trying to pick it up. It was a hilarious site and I only felt a little guilty as we laughed out loud at him as we walked away.

4. It is okay to throw your trash on the streets, but only after 7pm

In addition to the shit lined streets, at night they are also lined with garbage. There are no garbage bins here or weekly scheduled garbage man visits. Instead, people simply throw all of their trash on the street after 7pm and at some point, a street cleaner (on foot usually) will come by and pick up the trash. It makes the evening hours a rather disgusting experience. They also tend to leave bits and pieces behind so the streets are almost always full of little pieces of trash, wrappers and orange peels.

You would think that with the state of the streets the people would not be worried if you bring your trash down a few hours before 7pm, but in fact it makes them quite angry. We have some visitors staying with us right now and they took the trash down in the afternoon and were yelled at for bringing it out too early. Not wanting to take trash back into the apartment, they divided the three small bags among several public trashcans on the street. When they returned from running a couple of errands they found that someone had dug the trash bags out of the trash and left them on our doorstep. Unbelievable.

"Studying" abroad

1. It takes planes, trains and automobiles to get to school

Okay, so maybe not planes, but getting to school is quite the ordeal. We have to walk about a half mile to the subway station and take the subway to the last stop on the line where we catch a bus that takes us for a 1.5ish hour ride to our school in the nearby suburb of Pilar. Altogether the process takes about 2 hours each way. Catching the bus is probably the trickiest part, as we have to make reservations in advance. The first day I called in the morning and made the reservation in broken Spanish. Unfortunately I was not told (or did not understand) which corner we were supposed to wait on. We asked one of the kiosk vendors on the streeet and of course he told us the wrong corner. So, we missed the bus – a great way to start the first day. We had to take a taxi, which was not only expensive but also frustrating, as the driver did not have any idea where our school was. After getting directions from a nearby Sheraton we somehow managed to make it in time for our first class. Luckily, since then we have successfully caught the bus and I think we have figured out the process so we do not miss it again.

Due to all the long commute and of the drama involved I am quite thankful that during the first three weeks of school we have only had class on Mondays. This makes for a very long Monday but it certainly beats a 2-hour commute on a daily basis. The days of luxury are over however as we have classes three days a week starting next week. Yes, I realize I am spoiled, and I will die when I have to go back to UCLA. No need to mention it.

From the quotebook: “I only have class on Monday? I am going to be drunk EVERY night!”

2. This is not UCLA

Our classes have been easy (or more than easy if that is possible). Most of them only have a participation grade (no exams or assignments). The topics are mildly interesting but I would probably not be taking any of them at UCLA if given the choice. There were only four classes available in English and those are the classes I have to take. So, I am not learning a ton but it is interesting to talk about business in Argentina. While in my (not so) Advanced Finance class we were discussing the valuation of options using the Black Sholes formula, which requires a “risk-free rate.” One of the students brought up that in Argentina there is no risk free rate to speak of so the model is impractical. In a later class, it was discussed that Argentineans do not invest money in Argentina because the risk associated with living here is enough. It seems that although the economy in Argentina is slowly recovering from the crash in the early 2000’s, they still have a long, long way to go.

3. Sometimes $1 is better than $100

The struggling economy is evident (and freaking annoying) almost every time I spend money. Anytime you purchase anything, vendors will ask if you have exact change or if you have smaller bills. The lack of change is a national crisis. When extracting money from the ATM you get 100 peso bills but breaking these bills is often like pulling teeth. The exchange rate is about 3.8 pesos per dollar so the $100 peso bill is just over $26 US yet nobody can make change for it – even reputable businesses. I purchased a soda at McDonalds on Sunday for about $6 pesos. I handed the woman a $50 peso bill and she told me that she could not make change. That is like buying a soda with a $10 bill and the cashier telling you they could not make change – ridiculous!

Coins are lacking more than anything and perhaps the most difficult coin (“moneda”) to come by is the 1 peso piece. People will often refuse to sell you items or round downward just to avoid giving you a $1 peso moneda as change. My roommate Nina and I have started a competition to see who can collect the most $1 peso monedas while we are here. After I win (which I will) I am thinking about posting them on ebay before I leave as a joke and also to see if anyone actually bids more than face value (I have a feeling that someone might)!

4. Early morning Spanish class often results in delirium

In my ample spare time I am attempting to improve my Spanish. The three of us non-Spanish speaking UCLA students have hired a private tutor and have been taking about 5 hours of class per week. Our teacher’s (“maestra’s”) name is Gladys (sans the Pips) and is incredibly patient with us. Most of our classes are early in the morning when my Spanish is probably at it’s worse and I am slightly delirious. We have a lot of laughs as we attempt to remember our Spanish vocabulary, often resulting in ridiculous Spanglish (e.g “el top”, “la chanderlaria” etc.). We are also learning new words, which we often find quite silly like “azafata” (stewardess) and “mesa ratona” (coffee table/exact translation = rat table, because it is small, like a rat, duh?).

Despite the silly moments, I do feel like we are steadily improving and learning some valuable vocabulary to survive in the city. Today we learned about giving directions in the city and right after class we used the skills we had just learned in the Taxi on the way home. I feel like I am understanding more and more – speaking is still very difficult for me but I hope that will come with time and practice.

From the quotebook: “Tomar es mi deporte” (To drink is my sport).

Making Lemonade in NOA

1. It is hard to be the dumb kid in class

On Monday we left for a weeklong trip to northwest Argentina (NOA) with other students from IAE. We should have known that we were in for an interesting ride as we had originally been told our trip would be Sunday through Friday but when we got our flight arrangements (two days before) we discovered it would actually be Monday through Sunday. We knew that we needed to be at the airport for our 6:40am flight to some place called Tucuman, but otherwise none of us had any idea where exactly we would be going or what we would be doing.

After landing in Tucuman it became clear that among the 30 other people on our trip, the three of us from UCLA were the only students that did not speak Spanish fluently. After a few successful days in Buenos Aires I felt somewhat confident about my Spanish but when faced with conversations beyond ordering food, asking how much things cost and taking a taxi ride, I was overwhelmed. We quickly felt like the dumb kids in school, left out of conversations and eternally confused about we were, why we were there and where we might be going next.

Upon arrival one of the professors asked ¿Hablas español? – I responded with a timid, but affirmative “Si, un poquito.” In English, he said that I had great pronunciation. Excited, I struggled to say (in Spanish), “thank you, I have never heard that before.” He smiled and said “nevermind.” So much for that.

From the quotebook: “I don’t speak Spanish this early in the morning”

2. Sometimes it is a struggle to make lemonade

A large component of our trip was company visits in the region. We were told to bring “elegant sport” to wear to the companies that we visited but my business casual (what I assume is meant by "elegant sport") never even came out of my bag. We visited an odd combination of companies including a lemon-sorting facility, lemon farm, a petroleum company, a winery, a sugar factory and an old tobacco farm. None of these companies called for “elegant sport” nor were they particularly interesting for aspiring MBAs. The (really, really, really) long talks that were given by the companies were almost entirely in Spanish and although I understood a lot of what was said, it made my head spin and my eyes heavy. During the talk at the petroleum company I was nearly asleep when someone asked a question about women working for the company. The man responded that they did not like to hire women because they get pregnant… it is a good thing that my Spanish is terrible.

With two days full of lemons many of us joked about “when life gives you lemons… [insert various phrases here]” and after a (disgusting) tour of the sugar plant it seemed had most of the ingredients to make lemonade but still all we could think about was getting back Buenos Aires. In the end, I was glad that I went on the trip but I do not think that I will be visiting the region again anytime soon.

From the quotebook: While touring Pachamama - “Where are we?!” - “I don’t know, something about your mama”

3. Argentinean eating habits are not good for my health

Most evening, I find myself rather hungry around 8pm and shaking with low blood sugar by the time the Argentinean dinnertime of 10pm rolls around. When dinner is finally served, it is typically giant portions of meat with bread and (sometimes) vegetables. So I am starving at 9:59pm and stuffed beyond belief by 10:59pm – there is no way that this is good for my metabolism.

On the first night of the trip we were invited to one of our classmate’s parent’s home for an asada (bbq) dinner. I was so hungry that I was drunk after a single glass of wine and stayed that way for the rest of the night as I drank (a lot) more and ate a variety of delicious salads and bread while my classmates gorged on huge portions of beef. I am fairly certain that an entire cow was grilled that night and am positive that Tommy ate at least half of it. I am told that the beef here is simply delicious and although I do plan to try it at least once before I leave, I am not ready for a sample quite yet. Not eating beef confuses most of the South Americans and nobody even considers that there may be a vegetarian (or anti-mammalatarian) at mealtime – luckily I have managed to eat quite well on the trip despite this oversight. My one complaint with the food is that there is little to no spice whatsoever, no hot sauce and rarely even pepper on the table. Anyone who wants send me a care package with a bottle of Cholula, feel free.

From the quotebook: “My heart could not take a side of beef. I had to get McDonalds”

4. When they say party until the sun comes up, they mean it.

Because dinner does not finish until at least 11pm this means that going out to bars and clubs also happens extremely late. We were preparing to go out to a club in what I think was a town called San Salvador de Jujuy, when one of the locals told us that that the club would be fun but he was upset that it would close at 4am. I was confused for a moment, but I then realized that he felt that this was too early for the club to close. I can barely make it to 2am in the United States!

We arrived at the club around midnight and it was completely empty. I was surprised because even though we were in the middle of nowhere, it was Friday night! Slowly the crowds started to roll in and the place was packed by the time I was ready to make my exit at 3am. We drank, chatted and danced to the familiar sounds of Lady Gaga. It makes me tired just thinking about it but we all had a great time (despite the spider that was floating in my first drink).

It Begins!

This blog is slightly outdated now but it is taking me time to write them, type them up and find a reliable internet connection to post. I hope to get myself caught up in the next few days! I will also try to add some pictures once time permits and my connection is sufficient.

1. Bienvenido a Buenos Aires

After a journey of more than 24 hours, I arrived in Buenos Aires last Friday afternoon. I thought that it took me forever to get to Kenya but somehow it took even longer to get to Argentina. It is quite far but I must also blame United Airlines for the length of my journey. My flight to Buenos Aires was delayed in Washington D.C. for more than four hours. I should have known that when they brought out blankets, snacks and drinks we were in for the long haul.

Despite the inevitable flakiness of United Airlines, the rest of the journey went surprisingly well. Upon arriving in Buenos Aires my driver was standing there waiting for me with a smile on his face and my name on his board. We had a short drive to my apartment in the Palermo barrio in Buenos Aires. I was surprised at how organized the highways seemed to be (at least in comparison to Africa) and the number of toll plazas we had to pass through in such a short stretch. When we arrived at my new apartment we had to wait only for a few minutes for the owner to show up with the keys. The apartment is small but adorable and has all of the necessary amenities including cable television – a luxury I don’t even have in Los Angeles! All of this comes at a price that is less than half of my Los Angeles rent. My meager student budget could get used to this place!

2. No entiendo

It did not take long for me to realize the accent in Argentina is much different than anything that I am used to (if you could even say that I am used to any accent when it comes to the Spanish language). Perhaps the most notable difference is in the pronunciation of the double l - in Argentina is has a strange j/ch sound. When ordering a chicken (pollo) empanada on my first night the cashier looked at me like I was from another planet. I had to point to the item on the menu so that he would understand. It will definitely take some getting used to but at least the empanada was delicious!

3. Que Bonita!

School does not start until October 26^th but I am taking a trip to North West Argentina on October 19^th with other students in my program. This left me with a couple of days to recover from jet lag and to explore Buenos Aires before my next adventure. I mostly walked around the city and visited a couple of spots of interest. I must say that the city is everything that I expected and perhaps more – truly the “Paris “of South America. There are charming, tree lined neighborhoods, many complete with cobblestone streets and iron terraces.

On Saturday I took my first ride on the Buenos Aires subway (subte) and I was quite impressed and the price was right at about $0.30 per trip. It is amazing that a city in South America can have effective public transit while Los Angeles continues to be a complete mess. I took the subte to Recoletta and visited the Recoletta cemetery where Evita and other famous (and rich) Argentinean have been laid to rest. In general, I find cemeteries horrifying but this one was quite amazing. I spent nearly an hour just walking around and admiring the strange beauty that the tombs have. I am happy to report that despite what I believe about cemeteries, no ghosts, goblins jumped out at me and my soul is still intact (as far as I know).

Two days was not nearly enough to take in the entire city – I still have a lot of exploring and orienting to do when I get back from my trip. I turn the wrong way almost every time I leave my apartment so I will have to keep a map in my back pocket for the next several weeks until I have it figured out.

4. Me encanta Quilmes

As you might expect, it took me less than 24 hours to find and sample the local beer, Quilmes – I approve. After the cemetery on Saturday afternoon I spent several hours at an expatriate bar in Recoletta with Tommy, one of my UCLA classmates watching college football over several beers. It felt a little strange watching American football in Argentina but the beer was cheap and delicious. UCLA lost and USC won but all things considered it was a quite pleasant afternoon.

5. No quiero viajar solo

I spent most of my first two days in Buenos Aires alone as Nina, my Buenos Aires roommate, was on a short trip to Uruguay when I arrived. Although I enjoyed the two days it became very clear that I am not really cut out to travel alone. It is not nearly as fun to explore when you have nobody to compare notes with – not to mention that it makes for far less interesting stories for blogging! Luckily, Nina arrived back in Buenos Aires on Sunday night – I was relieved and am hopeful that I will have more interesting (and funny) things to write about in future blogs!