Take your Passion and Make it Happen

The last couple of weeks have been a roller coaster ride to say the least. The highlights include:

1. The end of a six and a half year relationship and a three and a half year marriage
2. A hurricane like storm in Sacramento that left me (and a great deal of others) without power most of the day
3. A trip to New York City
4. An interview at the Yale School of Management
5. Still no word from Haas
6. Confirmation of my next project down in the OC
7. Finally finishing and submitting my last application

Some of the highlights are obviously more monumental than others (I know some of you probably barely made it past number one). I am not quite ready to talk about each of the things on the list, at least not publicly, so I won't be recapping all of them in great detail at this point. But I do think there should be some context to go along with this post.

Now that it has been almost two weeks since New Year's Day I feel it is probably a good time to update you on my progress in sticking to my resolutions....

1. I have successfully kept to watching less than three hours of television for each of the past two weeks. It has actually been much easier than I had thought it would be. I think most of the time I just turn on the television without really even thinking about other things I could or should be doing. Now that I am not turning on the television I think about those other things a lot more often and have actually gotten many of them accomplished in the last two weeks. I do have to say though that, at least to some extent, time wasted on myspace has become a substitute for the time wasted watching televsion. I think I have developed an uncontrollable addiction and I am not really sure how to stop. I will have to save myspace for next year's resolutions though because I am not yet ready for a 12 step program in this area....

2. The take the dog on a walk and going to the gym resolutions have probably been my biggest failures thus far. Although I do take some personal responsibility it is not completely my fault that I haven't been able to meet my goals on either of these resolutions. First, the weather has been unbelievably crappy and I refuse to walk the dog in the rain (or what seemed like a hurricane for part of the week). Second, I have been somewhat sick for much of the past two weeks and just the thought of running while congested makes my lungs hurt. Third, I was out of town for a good portion of the last couple weeks... I can't exactly walk the dog when I am not in the same city. Forth, some idiot stole my gym bag out of my car meaning that I have to use my old gym shoes until I can acquire a new pair; this isn’t a huge deal but fairly annoying. Despite not formally getting exercise I did an unbelievable amount of walking on my New York/New Haven trip so at least I have been more active than usual. I am determined to make both of these resolutions a priority in the next week, especially since it will probably be the last week I am even able to walk the dog every morning as I will be away on my project in OC during the week for the next six months.

3. I have been a champ at eliminating all soda (except soda water) from my consumption. It has been super easy and I really don't even miss it. I continue to drink soda water because it is really just carbonated water and I must have something to mix my vodka with!

4. In the "eat healthier" department I think I have done pretty well. I have without question been eating healthier than I was prior to making the resolution although I think there is probably room for improvement (being drunk is not an automatic pass to eat a bean burrito). Still though, whatever weight I may have gained over the holidays was gone when I weighed in for the first time on Wednesday, at a half a pound less than what I had weighed prior to the start of the holiday season.

5. My novel is not yet started but I did finish my last application on Friday which means I need to get rolling. I ordered a few books and started reading one last night so hopefully I will have more to report in this department very soon. And to those of you that keep asking me, I am not telling you what my novel is about because I need complete writing freedom as I embark on this journey and do not want to be constrained by what I might have told you it was going to be about. You will just have to wait and read it when it is done.

6. The back to school hunt continued with my interview at Yale and the completion of my Kellogg application. I feel like the Yale interview went very well, probably one of my better interviews in memory. I am not so sure about living in New Haven for two years though... the area is a bit "sketchy" and dirty once you leave the campus. The campus itself is gorgeous and I am kind of excited about the thought of going to a school that is well over 300 years old. There are many pluses and minuses but I guess it is not really worth thinking about until I get an acceptance letter which should happen on or before Friday this week.

I am beyond thrilled to have all of my applications complete and submitted now. The whole process was much more grueling than I thought. I have to say that my Kellogg application is probably one of my weakest to date; I just didn't feel like anything I said in my essays was particularly stellar or creative like I have with past applications. Still, I know my experience and "numbers" are good and hope to hear positive news out of that camp as well. It feels good to be done but a part of me did think about cranking out one more application to NYU after a fabulous trip in the city. I have ultimately decided not to though because the deadline is in like two days which isn’t enough time to get all the recommendations and transcripts submitted and I am still pretty sure that New York is too big of a place for a small town girl like me to take her first shot at city life.

On a more somber note, I have still yet to hear from Haas. I know their "Super Saturday" interviews are this coming Saturday and I still have not received an invite. Everyone around me is trying to keep me positive about the situation but I am really having a hard time and am beginning to loose hope. I am terrified at the prospect of not getting into Haas because I feel it is by far the best "fit" for who I am and who I want to be but probably even more importantly because it will mean that I have to make an actual decision about what my second choice is. I have never really liked decisions much and I feel like one of this size will be incredibly difficult. Sigh...

7. My final resolution of making 2008 about me is going to be pretty darn easy now that "me" is all I really have to focus on. I have had some pretty sad moments in the last two weeks that have threatened to hold me back from this goal but a defining moment at the gym yesterday has put me back on the right path (I do a lot of really good critical thinking while on the treadmill). The song "Flashdance" came on my IPOD and besides reminding me what a cheeseball I am, it reminded me of the passion and drive that I have throughout my life and how I have always stayed focused on my goals despite some rather extenuating circumstances. This song reminds me of this because my sister once told me that my mom sometimes cries when she hears it because it reminds her of me (apparently I come from a long line of cheeseballs). Seriously though, my mom has always called her three daughters "Earth, Wind and Fire." I am fire because of my passionate nature. In listening to the lyrics of Flashdance I can see why the song reminds her of this. I will leave you with the lyrics just in case you aren’t as big of a dork as my mother and I...

First, when there's nothing but a slow glowing dream
That your fear seems to hide deep inside your mind
All alone I have cried silent tears full of pride
In a world made of steel, made of stone

Well I hear the music, close my eyes, feel the rhythm
Wrap around, take a hold of my heart

What a feeling, bein's believin'
I can't have it all, now I'm dancin' for my life
Take your passion, and make it happen
Pictures come alive, you can dance right through your life

Now I hear the music, close my eyes, I am rhythm
In a flash it takes hold of my heart

What a feeling

What a feeling (I am music now), bein's believin' (I am rhythm now)
Pictures come alive, you can dance right through your life
What a feeling (I can really have it all)
What a feeling (Pictures come alive when I call)
I can have it all (I can really have it all)
Have it all (Pictures come alive when I call)
(call, call, call, call, what a feeling) I can have it all
(Bein's believin') bein's believin'
(Take your passion, make it happen) make it happen
(What a feeling) what a feeling